Who Knows What's Best For Me?

“This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.” Isaiah 48:17 NIV

Sometimes we forget who orders our steps and leads our path.  We plan ahead as if we know what tomorrow will bring.  We schedule, we make things time sensitive, and we drive ourselves crazy if we are late or if things don’t happen according to our plans. 

I have been on this journey for almost a month now.  I have surprised myself by my level of calm in certain situations.  Coming from a place where schedules and deadlines ruled my world, it's difficult to allow someone else to have all the control.  However, I realized that if I was going to embrace this experience fully, that I needed to let go of the rains, give everything to God, and have faith in the fact that he controls all things and by his grace and mercy we are able to see another day much less plan for one.  

This is one of the first times in my teaching career that I have had to completely allow someone else to do all the planning.  They planned everything from my departure from the US to my school placement.  I still don’t even know what grade I’m teaching, and school starts on Sunday (today is Monday).  The funny thing isn’t that I don’t know. It’s that I am not stressing about it or anything for that matter.  From day one of this process I put everything in God’s hands.  I asked Him to make this opportunity a reality for me if he thought that I deserved it.  I know that He would never let me down. 

I often forget that my walk may not be understood or accepted by everyone.  They may not understand my lack of worry.  They may not get why all the negative comments about this experience don’t have my head spinning.  And they surely may not understand why I would want to drive an hour and a half or two hours every week to attend church.  I know I didn’t get to this level of calm alone.  There wasn’t some instructional manual that I read that enabled me to simply breathe rather than blow up at people, make offensive or inappropriate comments, show my behind in public or spout words on social media, or simply just come off as unapproachable or unruly.  I have taken this experience to be one in which I will learn more about my strengths and my weaknesses.   I guess in a way I wonder which is going to be more work, my learning more about myself or being the type of teacher that my students want to learn from.  Whenever I get to deep into thought, I just talk to Him and turn it over to Him.  He knows what’s best for me and there will never be a time when I have to doubt that.  I am ready for this learning experience.  I will be a student right along with the kids in my classroom.