Waiting

People say life is funny at times.  I say, God is funny.  He does things on a daily basis that I have to laugh at.  I was reminded of something the other day and I had to take a moment and reflect on the comedian that God can sometimes be.

There was a time when I had to put my grieving aside and assist the man I was in a relationship with.  He was in the middle of having a house built and making selections of various household essentials.  Everything from furniture to the kitchen back splash had to be chosen, and there were times when he would have me make the decision for him.  I didn't have any experience with tile, grout, or anything of the sort.  However now I can say that I do.

The other day I was in Home Depot with my sister.  She was picking out a hard wood floor for her room.  While she sat with the salesman setting up her order, I walked around looking at tile and back splash samples.  Standing there overlooking the samples I found myself actually selecting the ones I thought would work best in my kitchen.  Now, I don't own a home as yet, but I have been checking out some places just to get an idea of prices and other formalities.  However, I am no where near needing to pick out anything.  Going down the isle and running my hand across the samples, I recalled the one I had picked out for his kitchen.  That's when I had to laugh.  I didn't laugh out loud because I didn't want anyone in ear shot to question what I was laughing at.  I got chills up my arm, and suddenly it hit me.  Because of all the steps I watched him take, all the decisions I helped him make, all the things that still needed to be completed that weren't, and all the things he did that he shouldn't have done, I learned a lot.  I learned about all the things that I would want to do to my house when I get it.  I learned about all the moves I wouldn't make and all the little things that matter the most.  Everything from the floors to the closets; from the faucet to the crown molding, is etched in my mind.  I couldn't help but think that He could have saved me some time and hurt by just telling me all he wanted me to know, but then my appreciation for everything may be different.  My experience level would definitely be different.

I might have been hurt a year ago, or questioning what the point of our relationship was if it was going to come to such a horrid end.  What I should have been doing though was waiting on God to show it all to me.  Sometimes the pieces of the puzzle don't come together as fast as we would like for them to.  Sometimes you learn something one day, and you learn something else several months later.  Other times the things you think mean one thing, may mean something else.  Rather than constantly bombarding God with angry questions, or confusion, all I needed to do was wait.  So many people ask God for things and don't take the time to listen for his response.  They take it upon themselves to say God said this and God told me that when it really isn't God.  Their selfish wants and desires are placed before their ability to simply wait on God. They convince themselves that these things are happening because God ordered them to happen, when it really is just them being impatient and trying to justify their selfishness.  Questioning why God would do certain things, good or bad, to you rather than realizing why he did something for you will be the downfall that many of us face.

At the end of the day, what I will always remember to do, is wait on God.  I will remember that the pieces may not fit right away, but my puzzle will be completed over time.  Not on my time but on His time.  And I will always know, without a shadow of a doubt, that He is doing what He is doing "for me" and not "to me." And knowing is half the battle.