His Divine Will contributed by Jarel Turner

God doesn't lead two "halves" to be brought together to make each other, or oneself whole. His Divine Will leads two who are already whole independently/individually in Him & brings them together to make them one.

However we have Free Will. And our insisting on certain things are possible because of His Permissive Will, even with Him being ALL powerful.

Just know that if He has a whole person out

 there for you, He wants to complete His work in you first, so you can be that whole person back to them. That's the true sacrifice of love. Sacrificing "self" for God first. A deeper revelation of love of the first position in knowing how to give it properly. If you can't receive or give the love of God what "type" of love are you giving? #Faulty. #WeForgetHeCreated...HeISLove.

You don't have to chase down what He has for you & it does not include a burdensome yoke. Such situations are not "destined" to be nor are such parties your soul mate.

If it's not His Will, it's a distraction, a deception & a delay on what He really has for you...in all aspects of life. Things you won't have to chase down, just fearlessly walk into through Faith & Confidence by His Holy Spirit. #He'sAGodOfOrder.

In all matter of truth we all have situations or issues of varying degrees (outside of relationships) in which we have accepted a substituted provision over His (God's) Best. These provisions have their part in our growing process of life and are usually a result of our haste,

 making our own provision, & not waiting on or seeking the guidance of The Holy Spirit with patience which is always ON TIME but not usually within the time of our microwave society.

As we all reach for progress & not perfection it is time wasted to play a comparison game on how deep or shallow someone may be within His Divine Will or may not be.

It's about perspective regarding those things we fight for in life that ultimately are in vain for they leave us less than what we started with. While there is a reality of maybe an uncontrollable detachment in many areas of life it's a contradiction to believe the God who has all good things for you has destined something that you are literally fighting for, killing you or stealing your victory. He doesn't have such things for us. It's a cause for reflection and examination of reality.

In the aspect of relationships if someone is constantly controlling your time, emotions, & imposing the lie that without them you can't survive, making you feel you don't know how you'll go on or start over and you don't see happiness in life or the abundance in starting over - that is not fighting for love. It's the low level practice of witchcraft as it seeks to control and keep you away from progress, His Best. You don't have to submit to that. Practice your free will in the sense for the better!

God's Word should be all about understanding, and love, and it is however, sometimes in translation, in delivery, pride, misunderstanding whatever the case may be people misconstrue judgement with feeling challenged.

A perspective a given only for enlightenment and if it does not apply then don't try and put a shoe on your foot which doesn't fit. However, if it does fit and you don't like the way it looks it may just be that somewhere deep inside there's a challenge to do better.

All I share regarding the insight of God's Word is rooted in love for at most I can say is the fact that the one thing He has shown me is how to love better, His Way. Only by HIS Grace has darkness not consumed ALL our lives, not matter how good or "Holy" we may see ourselves... that we have time to come to His saving knowledge, & that we are enabled by His Holy Spirit to share the joys and wonders of it even when we're still working on getting it right ourselves.

I know fully The Law in it's entirety points to Christ - the deepest revelation of Love, Joy & Piece...it should not be used as a weapon to impose legalistic tradition & religion that is not of God...unfortunately people associate their history of such with the same Faith that they have found in a personal relationship with Christ. It's unfortunate, the two are not the same.

If you're not sharing Christ with people you're sharing a bunch of self helping, legalistic impositions presenting a form of godliness which only seeks to change one's outward compliance & not their heart.

I love God, I love people...I always have, and only with Him did I learn to love both parties better.

With that being said all that I say which is related to God, is said & motivated by love for when I truly found His Love, all things became new & I know without a shadow of a doubt He can, and wants to do the same for everyone I know if they let Him. We live in a society where being strong is equated with carrying our issues with a smile, and is accepted versus going through the challenge of facing them to give us freedom. He'll heal areas you didn't even know were wounded! Glory to God!

Judging, The Truth, The Real, You're an Idiot!

Judging (verb) means to form an opinion or conclusion about.

 

One thing I can’t stand is when the women in my life that I consider to be close friends, don’t know and understand their worth.  I try to surround myself with people that I can learn from, and who can learn from me.  With that said, it’s not always going to be something positive that we learn from each other.  Sometimes they can look at my mistakes or I can look at theirs and know what message or lesson should be taken from it.  The problem is that every now and then, there is that one friend who decides to tell you that you are judging her or the decisions she is making simply because you decide to stop being quiet and tell the truth. 

The Truth

Anyone who does the same thing over and over expecting a different result is crazy.  That type of behavior is crazy.  So when I look at a woman, a friend, a kind hearted person who I feel has so much to offer the right person and I see them going through the motions when they don’t have to, that’s a problem for me.  I can only keep quiet for so long. 

So If I talk to you and you inform me of a relationship that you are in or situation you are in, I will lend an ear or a shoulder.  If you are a friend, I have no problem doing that.  You have to decide if you want a person who is only going to listen and not comment, or one who will give you their two sense.  Now, I won’t always give my two sense because I know that everyone isn’t always there yet.  They aren’t always at that point where they are ready to receive the message you have to deliver.  However, after years of you complaining about the same things, or my witnessing the same types of behavior, don’t expect me to be quiet.  If I am a true friend, I will tell you not just what you want to hear but what reality is. 

The Real

The real is that I don’t want to see any of my people being taken advantage of.  I don’t want to hear that they are being put down or mistreated and still opt to stay with the same person that is doing all these wrong things to them.  And when the excuse is given that “We have been through a lot, he has been there for me, and I have been there for him…” I don’t want to hear that mess! If you picked up the phone to let your friends know what was going on with you, they could be there for you too.  At some point in a dysfunctional relationship, you have to be the smarter person and say ENOUGH!  Ok, let’s say you’ve gone through a few things.  Some deaths, medical issues, employment issues, whatever it might be, and because you decided to stick around, you feel like it’s a better relationship for it.  My question to that is: Why did it take for all that to happen, for it to now be labeled “a better relationship?”  If it was bad before all those things, and you never took the time to address the issues or fix what was wrong, it’s only a matter of time before it gets right back to that point.  Being an enabler isn’t going to do anything but eventually run you ragged!  Having to walk on eggshells instead of being yourself takes away from the amazing person that your friends are used to seeing.  One-sided relationships never last.  And when I say one-sided, I mean one in which both parties aren’t giving their all at all times.  If you are going to allow someone to make you feel like you are beneath him or her, then they will do just that with no problem.  If you don’t command respect, you won’t get respect.  If you want to put on an act for the folks you consider to be your friends, as if all is well and you are living in Mayberry, then go ahead.  It’s not going to change your reality though. 

Your real friends, no matter how often you are in contact, know you.  When they see a change in their friend, they question the behavior.  They know when you are truly happy.  They know when you disappear and don’t return calls but conveniently end up posting random things in your status, that you are really ashamed of what you are doing.  They know that when things come up in conversation and you try to act as if it’s known fact, that you are trying to drop hints here and there.  It shouldn’t even have to be like that.  It’s not about them judging you.  You are the one judging you.  It’s about you feeling that you are doing something wrong.  If you didn’t feel that how you were going about things was wrong, then you would make a call, or do what most girlfriends do and let people know what the deal is. 

When I talk to you and I tell you that I believe you to be an amazing person who deserves an equally amazing person to be in a relationship with, that’s not me judging you.  When I tell you not to settle for convenience and to know your worth, that’s me trying to get you to see all the great things your friends see, that you are covering up to be in a relationship you are going through the motions in.  When I tell you to stop flip-flopping back and forth and stick to what you say when you say it, that’s me trying to get you to see that there is some part of you that knows it’s not the right fit.  I want to see my friend in a healthy relationship.  I want her to know how great she is and that she deserves the world.  I don’t want to see a new relationship status every few months; you’re in a relationship, you’re not in a relationship.  If you want to talk about what’s immature, that is.  It’s like middle school all over again. 

You’re an Idiot

You both may be great people but not necessarily great for each other.  Everything is for a reason and a season.  If you decided to push for things to last longer than they are supposed to or defend and create reasons for why you think they work well, you won’t get it.  You will just be spending time living under the notion that any time a friend says anything, which should be uplifting to you, that they are passing judgment.  Real friends don’t want to stand around watching each other self-destruct.  If you want to self-destruct, then please, do it while I am not a friend of yours because I can no longer stand by hearing the same mess over and over and seeing the same results.  I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to know your worth.  Clearly you don’t think that you deserve the best and that’s why you aren’t waiting for the right one to come along.  And please don’t ever accuse me of being unsupportive.  If anything, I’m supportive of you being a success in all you do.  I want the best for all my friends.  If you think otherwise, then you’re an idiot.

KEEP HER SECRET

She asked me to keep her secret

But how could I

Knowing that keeping it wouldn’t solve anything

She broke down in tears

Talking about the hurtful words

That sting just as hard as

The lash of a belt across her skin

The words that leave deeper scars

Than the temporary welts from

Whatever device was quickest to grab

She told me that it had been discussed before

Promises were made to try and do better

However those promises fade

After a few days

After a few weeks

A thing of the past when problems arise

And her name seemed to be the only one

On the tip of the tongue to take the blame

She was told that the similarities were

The cause of the abrasive way in which

She was addressed at times

Rough like sand paper these words were

Tearing away at her

Chipping off chunks of her heart

Leaving her in doubt

As to weather she was even loved

Making her question why she was even

In existence

She asked me to keep her secret

But how could I

Knowing that this situation would

Get worse before it could get better

I make an attempt to bless her

With some insight as to how

She can overcome this demon

I explain that she will never be able

To fix another human being

However, it is within her power

To fix herself

To break the cycle

She asked to visit the sanctuary

And I complied without hesitation

She requested my support

In approaching the alter and

I stood firm with a hand on her shoulder

As the tears trailed down her face

Listening to the pastor telling her

He loves you

You are loved

And it matters not what anyone

Says from this day forth

She dedicated her life to God

I knew she would be covered and protected

So it didn’t matter how many hurtful words

Cut through her like a knife

Or how many times her name was

On the tip of someone’s tongue

To take the blame for something

I knew that even if I wasn’t by her side

Watching, guiding, and inspiring

She was protected

And that secret would soon come to light

The hardest part will be when

This hurtful individual realizes

They are missing out on knowing

This amazing little girl

They made a negative mark on her slate

That she would now have to erase

Luckily, she won’t have to do it alone

He follows all his children

Even through the darkest of storms

I know without a doubt

He has His hands on her!

Waiting

People say life is funny at times.  I say, God is funny.  He does things on a daily basis that I have to laugh at.  I was reminded of something the other day and I had to take a moment and reflect on the comedian that God can sometimes be.

There was a time when I had to put my grieving aside and assist the man I was in a relationship with.  He was in the middle of having a house built and making selections of various household essentials.  Everything from furniture to the kitchen back splash had to be chosen, and there were times when he would have me make the decision for him.  I didn't have any experience with tile, grout, or anything of the sort.  However now I can say that I do.

The other day I was in Home Depot with my sister.  She was picking out a hard wood floor for her room.  While she sat with the salesman setting up her order, I walked around looking at tile and back splash samples.  Standing there overlooking the samples I found myself actually selecting the ones I thought would work best in my kitchen.  Now, I don't own a home as yet, but I have been checking out some places just to get an idea of prices and other formalities.  However, I am no where near needing to pick out anything.  Going down the isle and running my hand across the samples, I recalled the one I had picked out for his kitchen.  That's when I had to laugh.  I didn't laugh out loud because I didn't want anyone in ear shot to question what I was laughing at.  I got chills up my arm, and suddenly it hit me.  Because of all the steps I watched him take, all the decisions I helped him make, all the things that still needed to be completed that weren't, and all the things he did that he shouldn't have done, I learned a lot.  I learned about all the things that I would want to do to my house when I get it.  I learned about all the moves I wouldn't make and all the little things that matter the most.  Everything from the floors to the closets; from the faucet to the crown molding, is etched in my mind.  I couldn't help but think that He could have saved me some time and hurt by just telling me all he wanted me to know, but then my appreciation for everything may be different.  My experience level would definitely be different.

I might have been hurt a year ago, or questioning what the point of our relationship was if it was going to come to such a horrid end.  What I should have been doing though was waiting on God to show it all to me.  Sometimes the pieces of the puzzle don't come together as fast as we would like for them to.  Sometimes you learn something one day, and you learn something else several months later.  Other times the things you think mean one thing, may mean something else.  Rather than constantly bombarding God with angry questions, or confusion, all I needed to do was wait.  So many people ask God for things and don't take the time to listen for his response.  They take it upon themselves to say God said this and God told me that when it really isn't God.  Their selfish wants and desires are placed before their ability to simply wait on God. They convince themselves that these things are happening because God ordered them to happen, when it really is just them being impatient and trying to justify their selfishness.  Questioning why God would do certain things, good or bad, to you rather than realizing why he did something for you will be the downfall that many of us face.

At the end of the day, what I will always remember to do, is wait on God.  I will remember that the pieces may not fit right away, but my puzzle will be completed over time.  Not on my time but on His time.  And I will always know, without a shadow of a doubt, that He is doing what He is doing "for me" and not "to me." And knowing is half the battle.

The Devil vs. a Proverbs 31 Woman

So many people have shared their opinions with me on my previous relationship.  They have either been family or friends with first hand knowledge and insight, or outsiders looking in.  However, no one has ever broken it down like a friend did for me last night.  We were both talking about our triumphs in regards to our last relationships and after lending an objective ear, a very important question was asked. 

“What does the devil do with a Proverbs 31 woman?”

I was at a loss for words while thinking about all the details mentioned in Proverbs 31.  Though a bit delayed, my response was “ I guess the devil can’t do anything with a Proverbs 31 woman.  She loves with no restrictions, and she does things that God has placed on her heart.  The devil would only try to break down a woman that displays such strength and love.”

My friend told me that was the point that he was trying to make.  Then he asked me to listen very carefully to the next few things that he was about to say.

“I don’t want you to ever change the type of person that you were before this experience simply because you chose to love the wrong man.  Don’t think that you need to punish any other man because of the wrong this one man did to you.  Realized this, he was intimidated by you.  You were too independent for him.  You weren’t needy enough.  You may have made him feel like he was less of a man and for that he decided to hurt you. 

He made a conscious decision to cheat.  He found someone while he was supposed to be working on his craft.  While you were back at home being supportive and giving positive feedback, he was seeking another woman.  In his mind he decided to “cheat up.”  This woman had to give the allusion that she was somehow better than you.  She needed to have a lot if not more going for herself.  The fact that he chose someone in an industry he was trying to break into is not surprising at all.  He needed her to be someone that you would be offended by because that was all apart of hurting you. 

You were a creature that he had no experience dealing with.  You weren’t after his money.  You worked for a living.  You didn’t want to yell and scream things out because you didn’t come from that type of environment.  You were comfortable not being in the limelight.   Keeping up with the Jones’ wasn’t something you felt strongly about.  All these things threw him for a loop so he kept pressing the issue of why you loved him or wanted to be with him.  There may have even been a part of him that knew once you saw him for what he was, you wouldn’t want to stand by him anymore.  Standard procedure in that case is to get out before you got hurt. 

Not only did he cheat, he made sure to “act” as though he was being straight up with you from the beginning.  You were given just enough information to keep you believing that he was doing right by you.  All those promises of a future together and working to build a solid foundation were just smoke signals to cover up what he was really doing.  He was shopping for something new before it was even obvious that there was a need to.  And let’s not forget his use of the Bible and God to justify his dirty deeds.  He will have to answer for that later on.  He will have to explain why he decided to misuse the word of God.  He failed to understand that while he was praying and fasting, he was still vulnerable to the devil.  As a matter of fact, the devil preys on you most at those times.  While you are praying to God and waiting to hear his promise, you need to be able to decipher between his voice and that of the devil.  And believe me, even though it may seem as though he got over on you and he managed to come out on top, he is still hurting.  He will never truly know anyone who will do all that you did for him unconditionally.  He will never know if those he has decided to surround himself with are there with him for the right reasons as compared to all the people he has shut off and cut out of his life because of his new lifestyle.  He will continue to struggle if he never resolves these issues he has with jumping from one relationship to the next without taking the time needed to reflect and heal.

What I want is for you to make sure you have fully released him out of your heart.  There isn’t any need for you to be bitter, or angry about anything because you were doing what was needed to maintain the relationship you thought you were building on.  We often times ask God to move certain mountains for us, and to make certain things come to fruition, but we aren’t always ready to accept what he has to say when it happens.  You have to be willing to accept God’s yes as well as his no.  The relationship wasn’t right because you put that man before God.  You treated him better than you treated yourself, and as a result, you suffered for it.   God crumbled that relationship.  Now it’s time for you to walk the path that he has in mind for you, put him first, and make sure that when he shows you his promise that you live out your purpose.”

After hearing all of this I was truly emotional.  It was almost as if God had sent this person to prophesize over my life and explain the things that I would never get answers to if I went and asked my X the questions.  Though I feel I have long since moved on and have released this man out of my heart, there will be things that are hard to forget.  In the two years that we were together, we did a lot.  We experienced many life-changing events while in each other’s lives.  Unfortunately, our hearts were in two different places and our lives were moving in different directions.  And although he made it seem as though a future together was a priority and a possibility, he was being deceptive.  The funny thing is that what he did to me doesn’t bother me nearly half as much as the people he involved in our lives.  Our friends and family, pets, even his kids didn’t need to be apart of the lie.  I have never been or will I ever be a selfish person.  I don’t plan on making anyone else suffer simply because I don’t know how to deal with my emotions, past experiences or encounters.   Nor do I plan on involving anyone else in any dramas that might be going on in my life, if it has nothing to do with them.  Those things need to be resolved before I even think of attaching myself to anyone. 

The fact of the matter is that the signs were there all along, however I ignored them.  I wanted to believe in the person I had fallen for.  I wanted to believe in the man of God, the loving and nurturing father, the person who could be humble and down to earth despite the crazy lifestyle he lived, and the man who was professing his love for me.  The man I should have placed my focus on is the creator, because he would have guided and protected me.  Unfortunately, when you stray from your purpose, He places storms in your life to redirect your steps and guide you to your true destiny.  Without a doubt, I know that God has something great in store for me.  Something greater than anything I have experienced to date.  I know that I am a woman of God and I will live out my purpose.   I will continue to be a Proverbs 31 woman and God will make all things possible for me.  I truly hope and pray that my X realizes that God will never direct him to hurt those he claims to love or send him spiraling out of control if he is walking the walk.  We are all a work in progress.  However, if you don’t take steps toward correcting mistakes, they will follow you through out whatever you do.