The Devil vs. a Proverbs 31 Woman

So many people have shared their opinions with me on my previous relationship.  They have either been family or friends with first hand knowledge and insight, or outsiders looking in.  However, no one has ever broken it down like a friend did for me last night.  We were both talking about our triumphs in regards to our last relationships and after lending an objective ear, a very important question was asked. 

“What does the devil do with a Proverbs 31 woman?”

I was at a loss for words while thinking about all the details mentioned in Proverbs 31.  Though a bit delayed, my response was “ I guess the devil can’t do anything with a Proverbs 31 woman.  She loves with no restrictions, and she does things that God has placed on her heart.  The devil would only try to break down a woman that displays such strength and love.”

My friend told me that was the point that he was trying to make.  Then he asked me to listen very carefully to the next few things that he was about to say.

“I don’t want you to ever change the type of person that you were before this experience simply because you chose to love the wrong man.  Don’t think that you need to punish any other man because of the wrong this one man did to you.  Realized this, he was intimidated by you.  You were too independent for him.  You weren’t needy enough.  You may have made him feel like he was less of a man and for that he decided to hurt you. 

He made a conscious decision to cheat.  He found someone while he was supposed to be working on his craft.  While you were back at home being supportive and giving positive feedback, he was seeking another woman.  In his mind he decided to “cheat up.”  This woman had to give the allusion that she was somehow better than you.  She needed to have a lot if not more going for herself.  The fact that he chose someone in an industry he was trying to break into is not surprising at all.  He needed her to be someone that you would be offended by because that was all apart of hurting you. 

You were a creature that he had no experience dealing with.  You weren’t after his money.  You worked for a living.  You didn’t want to yell and scream things out because you didn’t come from that type of environment.  You were comfortable not being in the limelight.   Keeping up with the Jones’ wasn’t something you felt strongly about.  All these things threw him for a loop so he kept pressing the issue of why you loved him or wanted to be with him.  There may have even been a part of him that knew once you saw him for what he was, you wouldn’t want to stand by him anymore.  Standard procedure in that case is to get out before you got hurt. 

Not only did he cheat, he made sure to “act” as though he was being straight up with you from the beginning.  You were given just enough information to keep you believing that he was doing right by you.  All those promises of a future together and working to build a solid foundation were just smoke signals to cover up what he was really doing.  He was shopping for something new before it was even obvious that there was a need to.  And let’s not forget his use of the Bible and God to justify his dirty deeds.  He will have to answer for that later on.  He will have to explain why he decided to misuse the word of God.  He failed to understand that while he was praying and fasting, he was still vulnerable to the devil.  As a matter of fact, the devil preys on you most at those times.  While you are praying to God and waiting to hear his promise, you need to be able to decipher between his voice and that of the devil.  And believe me, even though it may seem as though he got over on you and he managed to come out on top, he is still hurting.  He will never truly know anyone who will do all that you did for him unconditionally.  He will never know if those he has decided to surround himself with are there with him for the right reasons as compared to all the people he has shut off and cut out of his life because of his new lifestyle.  He will continue to struggle if he never resolves these issues he has with jumping from one relationship to the next without taking the time needed to reflect and heal.

What I want is for you to make sure you have fully released him out of your heart.  There isn’t any need for you to be bitter, or angry about anything because you were doing what was needed to maintain the relationship you thought you were building on.  We often times ask God to move certain mountains for us, and to make certain things come to fruition, but we aren’t always ready to accept what he has to say when it happens.  You have to be willing to accept God’s yes as well as his no.  The relationship wasn’t right because you put that man before God.  You treated him better than you treated yourself, and as a result, you suffered for it.   God crumbled that relationship.  Now it’s time for you to walk the path that he has in mind for you, put him first, and make sure that when he shows you his promise that you live out your purpose.”

After hearing all of this I was truly emotional.  It was almost as if God had sent this person to prophesize over my life and explain the things that I would never get answers to if I went and asked my X the questions.  Though I feel I have long since moved on and have released this man out of my heart, there will be things that are hard to forget.  In the two years that we were together, we did a lot.  We experienced many life-changing events while in each other’s lives.  Unfortunately, our hearts were in two different places and our lives were moving in different directions.  And although he made it seem as though a future together was a priority and a possibility, he was being deceptive.  The funny thing is that what he did to me doesn’t bother me nearly half as much as the people he involved in our lives.  Our friends and family, pets, even his kids didn’t need to be apart of the lie.  I have never been or will I ever be a selfish person.  I don’t plan on making anyone else suffer simply because I don’t know how to deal with my emotions, past experiences or encounters.   Nor do I plan on involving anyone else in any dramas that might be going on in my life, if it has nothing to do with them.  Those things need to be resolved before I even think of attaching myself to anyone. 

The fact of the matter is that the signs were there all along, however I ignored them.  I wanted to believe in the person I had fallen for.  I wanted to believe in the man of God, the loving and nurturing father, the person who could be humble and down to earth despite the crazy lifestyle he lived, and the man who was professing his love for me.  The man I should have placed my focus on is the creator, because he would have guided and protected me.  Unfortunately, when you stray from your purpose, He places storms in your life to redirect your steps and guide you to your true destiny.  Without a doubt, I know that God has something great in store for me.  Something greater than anything I have experienced to date.  I know that I am a woman of God and I will live out my purpose.   I will continue to be a Proverbs 31 woman and God will make all things possible for me.  I truly hope and pray that my X realizes that God will never direct him to hurt those he claims to love or send him spiraling out of control if he is walking the walk.  We are all a work in progress.  However, if you don’t take steps toward correcting mistakes, they will follow you through out whatever you do.